Critique: "Hurricane"

"Hurricane” is a story about two young friends that decide to brave the surging storm winds on the California coast and attempt to surf the high waves. Their motives are never given complete clarity, and I assume they are doing this either for the hell of it or for some shot at immortality within the local circuit of urban surf legends. The two boys, an unnamed narrator and Travis, are inspired by their friend Tony, who suggests they sneak onto the beaches while they are closed during the storms. Travis and the narrator don’t appear immediately responsive to Tony’s suggestion, but decide to go ahead with it.

I could be completely wrong in this, but I gathered that the narrator was somewhat apprehensive towards the whole idea of surfing during a hurricane. If this is the case, I would have liked to see more of this in the earlier parts of the story, namely the first scene. He doesn’t speak and we don’t get any of his opinion or feelings toward the initial idea of surfing the storm, though he is very observant and aware of Travis’ immediate interest.

The story features a nice balance of dialogue and description /narration. The dialogue is effective and realistic, wasting little time repeating the same dribble over and over as is seen often. The descriptive language uses a lot of vernacular and region/culture-specific words that give the story both honesty and authenticity. The surfing jargon made the story fun to read and move along steadily.

Throughout the story and long after reading it, I kept wondering how it would have been different if the narrator had bailed on Travis at the beach instead of sticking with him and trying to conquer the storm. I think this might be worth exploring or at least checking out.

The story ends a few readings (from me at least). The first and more likely reading is that Travis felt betrayed or angry towards the narrator and decided to leave him on the beach as a ending to their friendship or something. Another reading could be that the narrator simply told Travis to go home as he looked for the rest of his board and they were friends thereafter. And yet another reading believes that the narrator died of internal bleeding suffered during his violent thrashings against the pier and Travis left him for dead. If there is one clear ending to this story, I think it needs better explication at the end.