Critique: "A Trip to the Desert"

“A Trip to the Desert” is a story about the failed relationship between a mother and a daughter. The daughter, Cassiopeia, goes with her boyfriend to meet her mother, Moira, who lives alone in the desert, heartily decaying amongst the macaws. While there, Cassi breaks the news of her father’s (Moira’s ex-husband) death to her mother, who has no knowledge of this. Moira is a compelling character, as she at first seems like some decrepit witch, but she turns out to be well-intentioned and kind. This clash between Cassi’s view of her mother and her mother’s actuality is observed well by both the boyfriend and the reader. Cassi, however, is very cold and spiteful toward her mother to the point that it becomes unredeemable.

I’d like to see the scene in which Moira finds out her ex-husband got married again expanded. It feels like there’s a leap made between “He got...married?” and “Would you like to feed my macaw?” that could be smoothed over with a paragraph of thought or reflection. The feeding of the macaw implies an incoming reconciliation made between the mother and the daughter that is never fulfilled. This is something to consider when thinking of reader expectations.